C' mon Senator McCain... show a little gratitude for all the faithful. Start sending out the "Thank You" cards. Do you need the all the addresses? We'll help 'ya out. For starters, send one to CNN. Be sure to include the entire staff. They've been a great help to you in this last 3 months. And theres those good guys at ABC, Chuckie Gibson, and Georgy-boy Stephenopoulos. Don’t forget them. They've stood by your side.
Lets see, who else gets a card? Of course...NBC; and MSNBC! . Sure don't wanna miss them. Boy you'll need a whole box.. there's Williams, Obermann, Brokaw, Matthews, Maddow...ah, there's just so many to write to, so you might be better off doing a candy gram. They've all been positively exuberant about the way your campaign has proceeded in the last two weeks.
And be sure to include a nice enticement for that cuddly, gnarly-faced MSNBC sweetie, Andrea Mitchell. Now there's a reporter with gravitas, She deserves at least a McCain keychain and magnet for the fridge . So if you ever need her again to help you lose an election, you'll certainly want to stay on the good side of her..
And don't forget about the great spark to your campaign that cutie pie Kate Couric has provided lately. It was an absolute gas the way she and those wonderful CBS studio editors sliced your partner's interview into snippets.
Oh well, what’s a little bias any way? After all, the first rule of politics is...THERE ARE NO RULES! You know the old saying....if you want a friend in politics-- get a dog. And how about the innovative way that those reptiles kept running that soundbite... "the economy was fundamentally sound"? What a coincidence that your lead evaporated right afterwards. But it probably was all in good fun.
Yes Senator; without all their co-operation you wouldn't be where you are today. And you must admire their conformity. They're ALL for your opponent...united in lockstep against you! You could almost think of them as the "Stepford " media, in the non-stop invectives they continuously direct against you.
And don't be an ingrate if you lose. Just think of all that trouble and time the Stepford media may have saved you in the future. And think of the good times you've provided them; and all the happiness you've brought their way. Picture all those slimy Stepford media reptiles, slithering gleefully back and forth between their corporate TV offices, laughing at the endless Couric interview soundbites on their monitors, and snickering about whatever else they can devise to embarrass you on to defeat.
Yessir...you can thank them all. And if you're wondering, (as many of your supporters out there are) how could they ALL be so coldblooded? Don’t forget; they're snakes...spineless and without principles.
The snakes crawl over every word you say, and twist it out of context. They've made sure that that nary a kernel of disinformation about your campaign ever slips by. And sooner or later, it begins to take hold. Their Orwellian blanket is all-encompassing. Nothing penetrates their iron curtain of disinformation. Our First Amendment has been shredded. News journalism is dead. Thomas Jefferson once wrote: "Information is the currency of democracy".
So don't be at all surprised about why your disingenuous opponent has surged ahead of you. And because of the disinformation that has seeped through, YOU are the one the masses believe who's misleading them. Yes Mr. McCain, it's ironic. The majority now think that your opponent, the Great Fabricator, is the one to be most entrusted to the presidency.
And who can blame the masses for this travesty of truthfulness? The people have heard nothing ill of your opponent, whose speeches they revere. People of today hear and see nothing but sound bites. They have no time for newspapers, and place their credence in the political opinions of comedians, instead of journalists, Yes; a neutral electorate can absorb only so much disinformation, before it gradually takes on a life of its own. If Thomas Jefferson were around today, he might write: "When comedians are taken seriously, democracy is destined to become a joke"