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A clueless Grover Cleveland sat idly in the Whitehouse, offering no set plan to end the debacle. But after three lean years, the U.S. economy quickly recovered.
In 1897, following the election of William McKinley-- coupled with onset of the Klondike gold rush- the American economy began yet another generation of rapid expansion, lasting up to the end of the First World War.
But given the propensity of dollar-obsessed Americans-- always thinking of novel ways to get rich -- our modern history has been a never-ending cycle of booms, followed by the inevitable busts, and then recoveries.
In October of 1929, after 8 blistering years, the stock market crashed.
Twelve long years of depression would then transpire, until the Second World War got Americans back to work. By 1944, less than 2% of the population were unemployed.
In 1976-- after another vicious 3-year downturn --it was the opening of the new trans-Alaskan pipeline that quickly returned prosperity to America once again.
In spring of 2000--after a breathtaking 18-year ascendency-- the Nasdaq market spiraled down from the 5000 level to less than half its value a year later. Yet another speculaltive bubble had been burst.
Between 2003 and 2007, another economic roar reverberated around the country, created by relaxed credit policies, sparking a housing frenzy.
Then, in September of 2008 came a precipitous, unexpected decline; all the major nations' economies seemed to plunge in unison, roiled by defaults in the world's financial derivatives markets.
Global stock markets-- rocked by the crash --threatened to plunge the entire earth into a second Great Depresssion.
In America, forclosure rates rocketed upward; banks were literally going begging for capital; loans were being denied. Several Wall Street firms went belly-up. Unemployment rose at an alarming pace.
But despite it all, the U.S. economy did NOT collapse!
Since October '08, and May of 2009, over six million people have been put out of work.
But not to worry; the Dept. of Commerce is predicting 3.5% GDP growth by year's end.
However, most Americans-- being impatient by nature-- would prefer to see the recovery begin NOW. And according to some pundits, there ARE some brights lights beginning to flash on our economic horizon.
Anecdaotal reports are starting to filter in: Indeed, we may be on the threshhold of another turnaround!
In some retail sectors, given the statistics--plus reports from "mystery shoppers" around the county-- analysts predict that sales of the following selected items-- ideas patented by the Obama administration-- are about to boom:
Maxine Waters Designer Eyeframes: (for that "Rocky the Flying Squirrel" look)
-available in all colors
-shatterproof; and of course, "waterproof"
Robert Gibbs Custom Dartboard:
-personally autographed
-complete with center-mounted, "bulls-eye" portrait of the smirking press secretary
-perfect for any rec room
Nancy Pelosi's Model Airplane Kit: (be first on your block to land one)
-exciting fun
-rebuild an authentic scale model of Nancy 's own personal jet in your basement or garage
-safe for all ages
Barack Obama Steak Knives: (for those who only eat the finest Kobe-Wagyu beef )
-ergonomically designed
-specify right (r) or lefthanded (l)
-not recommended for daily use
Michelle Obama Tank Tops: (for showing off those ripped, svelte arms & shoulders)
-comes emblazoned with, YES! I'm now proud of my country!
Rahm Emanuel Get Well Cards:
-suitable for most occasions
-all with that special Chicago-style touch
Barbara Boxer X-tra High Heels: (you no longer need look up to anyone)
--designed for standing up to your political enemies
--product of years of testing on the Senate floor
The Barney Frank Facial Exerciser: (makes a great gift)
--wonderful for firming and toning those problem areas around the mouth
--a great aid for improving pronunciation of those tricky dipthongs and consonants
The Sonya Sotomayor Talking Doll: (comes complete with ankle cast)
-bi lingual
-can be programmed to say anything in liberal-ese (or Spanish)
The Chris Dodd / John Edwards Home Barbershop Kit
- professional haircuts at home!
-safe & convenient for pet grooming
Charles Rangel's Diversity Training Manual: (a must for ALL college freshmen)
- avoid offending people who "don't look like you"
- no need to worry about new roommates
Joe Biden's Indispensible Travel Guide:
-- how to be successful riding Amtrak for free
-- how to capitalize on the lowest fare rates
--money back guarantee
Necessity has always been the mother of invention-- just as it has in the past. America 's economy will again be the locomotive to pull the world out its deep recession.
And thanks to good ol’ American ingenuity (and the Obama administration) these breakthrough products are sure to lead the way.
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