(begin theme)
Just sit right back
And you'll hear a tale
A tale of a fateful trip,
That started from this tropic port,
Aboard this tiny ship.
The mate was a mighty sailin' man,
The Skipper brave and sure,
Five passengers set sail that day,
For a three hour tour...
A three hour tour.
Recognize that? Sound familiar? Need a hint? It's about Ginger; Maryanne; da Professor.
Now you've got it! Gilligan's Island: the story of a ship of hapless fools, who somehow drift off-course - becoming stranded on a "deserted" island.
This iconic TV program - comprised of 98 episodes, filmed between 1964-67 - is even now more popular in syndication than it was back in its hey-day.
For some reason, the show's corny, insipid plot had wide appeal - a situation so removed from reality, its cast of characters could not but help coming off as entertaining.
And now, 45 years later, the Republicans have taken up their own version of Gilligan's Island - a party adrift with a cast of hapless fools - so removed from reality that they cannot realize the calamity they are about to foist upon the nation...Obama's second term.
EXHIBIT A: Sarah Palin
Unbeknownst to her - or any one else in the GOP - Palin's "resurgence" portends utter disaster in 2012.
But why you say?
While Palin is certainly no fool, she remains in denial of her own political reality. Much like Humpty-Dumpty, the pieces to her media-sullied image can't be put back together again.
Palin's virtues are seemingly boundless:
Brilliant; charismatic; patriotic; intrepid; intuitive; garrulous; mesmerizing; traditionally-conservative; moral; honest; decisive; oratorical - EXACTLY why she has zero chance at the Presidency in 2012! The jealousy of the leftist media is unrelenting - assuring she will forever remain the homespun housewife, who's favorite pastime is hunting moose (mooses?).
Who was it who said..."you have but ONE chance at making a good first impression."
Although Palin made a poignant, beguiling, utterly-fascinating speech at the 2008 GOP convention, the salient point has been forgotten: she was seen primarily by pro-Republican viewers, plus the hard-core political junkies that may have tuned in.
Hence, Palin has a hardcore following of those who first heard her speech. But disastrously, Palin's first impression (to the majority of the nation) was her diabolically-edited, Katy Couric fiasco - FOREVER branding her to mainstream (clueless) Americans as (gulp) an airhead!
Between now and 2012, Palin could orate a thousand, compelling speeches; author a hundred brilliant books; conduct one radiant TV interview after another; but the vast majority of America (those clueless voters) will forever maintain that..."Uh, I like her, but she's kind of uh, an airhead." (duh)
It's that dreaded "first impression" thing - it NEVER changes.
So why even consider Palin a viable candidate? What's the point of pitting her vs. Barak Charlatan Obama?
But that's just what the imbeciles in charge of the RNC will end up doing!
EXHIBIT B: Michele Bachmann
Politically, Palin may be one of the most accomplished women in America; but if one were to consider the most VIABLE woman for President, why isn't the GOP promoting Michele Bachmann?
ANSWER: because they're politically-depraved, rattleskull fools!
PREDICTION: much like the McCain debacle in '08, look for the Republicans to boldly go forth and pick Palin, who would lose in a landslide to Obama in 2012 - forever dooming America to socialist oblivion.
Other than that, Palin would make a fine selection.
Yes indeed, the Republican ship of fools will blithely go forth, picking Palin, leaving their brightest female star - Michele Bachmann - deserted on her own political island (Minnesota's 6th Congressional district)
If the Republicans had one iota of political sense, they only need follow the lead of the leftist (lamestream) media: Palin is toast. But Bachmann is greatly feared.
There is no Bachmann soap opera - little possible dirt to be dug-up on this outspoken firebrand, with the uncanny ability to frame conservative issues from an offensive -rather than defensive - perspective.
With her eloquent, subtle, but poignant oratory, the cagey Congresswoman articulates Republican issues like nobody since Reagan - unburdened with the National Enquire-type baggage clinging to Governor Palin.
Ironically, Bachmann is just what the GOP needs; and with a proper running mate (Romney as VP), she would have ten times the chance of defeating Obama, versus Sarah "Soap-Opera" Palin.
EXHIBIT C: Mike Huckabee (pronounced Huk- uh- bee)
Ah yes, Mike Huckabee, supposedly the top-polling candidate (i.e. frontrunner) for the GOP in 2012, who beats Romney by a whisker in a recent Doug Schoen/ Fox News survey.
But speaking of whiskers, what chance - given his pitiful, thin, comb-around "swirl" hairdo - does Mr. Huckabee have in a general election? Especially given the fact that 53% of the nation's voters are now women.
If one were to go back several generations, the last time a hair-challenged candidate actually won for President was Dwight D. Eisenhower in '52; and most notably, he was running against Adlai Stevenson - also sporting a chrome-dome "doo."
Thus, the public voted Eisenhower, figuring he to be the lesser of two evils.
Think about it: John F. Kennedy. Nixon. Carter. Reagan, Bush I. Clinton. Bush II; and now Obammo. If one doesn't have good (preferably great) hair, there ain't no mountain high enough to keep the ladies from voting for the other guy.
So is any wonder why Fred Thompson never got any "traction" when he ran last year? That's just the way it is....especially in the age of HDTV.
Perhaps Mr. Huckabee could spruce up his image a bit - using some of that spray-directly-on-the scalp remedy Ron Popeil once hawked during late night infomercials. It certainly beats wearing an Alfalfa-type wig that his GOP buddy, Chuck Norris, is now sporting.
But look for the Republican ship of fools - headed by captain Michael Steele - to crash on the rocks of defeat in 2012, with a Huckabee/Palin ticket - unleashing the media feeding-frenzy.
EXHIBIT D: Senator Jim DeMint (R; SC)
Not surprisingly, the idiopaths at the GOP have all but but marginalized the one man with the BEST chance of turning back the Obama-mania tide, and recapturing the Whitehouse going away.
But why Jim DeMint?
Well, why not?
Like Michele Bachmann, there is is no skeletal closet lurking in Mr. DeMint's past. And not only does he have Reagan-esque hair, he also has the ol' Gipper's demeanor - he is honest and unflappable, the two most important qualities a conservative candidate can bring to the party.
But the one thing nobody is talking about - Jim DeMint has GUTS.
He is poised, being the first and only republican thus far to actually make Obama sweat- predicting that socilaized medicine would be Obama's "waterloo."
But what if Huckabee, Palin, Tim Pawlenty, Gingrich, or Bobby Jindall had made that same bold prediction?
Correct. The leftist media would have pounced! - rushing to the defense of "their President." Anyone else would have been torn to shreds. MSNBC and CNN would've had material enough for weeks (remember "you lie" Joe Wilson?).
But mysteriously- unlike Joe the Plumber, who, last year, had dared to criticize the almighty Obama - the liberal media went into full retreat after DeMint FINALLY stood up to "speak his mind".
Notwithstanding his "waterloo" prediction, the fact remains: liberals are thoroughly petrified of Jim DeMint. Unlike the other GOP Senate lilies, DeMint doesn't cower.
DeMint is lurking - casting a long, ominous shadow upon an Obama second term, and the democrats KNOW it.
But despite all this, there are two reasons why Jim DeMint remains laregly undiscovered as the GOP's next star, and why we'll never hear much about him:
1) the unbelievable opaqueness (idiocy) of Michael Steele and the RNC
2) the incredibly high anxiety level of the democrats (and the leftist media) - wisely deciding it's best to let "a sleeping dog lie."
So expect a rudderless GOP to stay hopelessly adrift - sailing off into the sunset - misguided by a malfunctioning political compass.
Syonara!